Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Why This Offends Me & Other Superheros

on February 20, 2015


Warning- the fact that I’m actually offended by this may offend others but its my party and I’ll cry if I want to


OK I know it’s not fair to have been MIA for a while and then return with a soapbox rant but I’m pissed.  I saw the above meme on Facebook this morning and I’m all fired up about it.  It reminded me that I’ve seen similar pictures with equally offensive quotes.  And to add insult to injury some memes have gone so far as to liken pregnancy to a super power.


And while I’m at it let me throw another log onto the fire that’s burning within me.


No, I need to stop.  I can’t even get myself started with that last meme- its a whole other blog post.  Let me take some deep breaths and focus for a while on the initial offense.

For those not familiar with the image or its history here’s a quick drive by schooling.


The poster was originally created in 1943 by J. Howard Miller for Westinghouse Electric.  It was intended to boost worker morale during World War II.  I’m not sure if it really worked since it seemed to only gain popularity years later (once the feminist movement was in full swing and women decided to start sticking up for themselves).  Now the image is seen as a symbol representing the “power of a woman”- hear me roar kinda stuff.  Which brings me to why the memes piss me off…

I believe it makes some women feel like they need to “egg”, grow and birth a child to be a powerful woman.  And if it doesn’t actually make them feel that way then it at least makes them feel like that’s what society expects from them whether they can (or want to) do it or not.  Honestly any woman who actually thinks they have super powers because they birth a child deserves to be beat with her own uterus (thanks Amanda for the great idea!)  The real super heroes are women that birth babies for those who can’t. Truth be told you don’t have to do any of those things to be a powerful woman.  You don’t have to ever have a child within a 5 mile radius of you.  You don’t have to want children to be a powerful woman.  If you want to make a correlation between having a baby and being a Mommy here’s a news flash- “growing” a child does NOT make you a Mommy.  NURTURING a child makes you a Mommy.  Therein lies the TRUE super power.  Maybe I’m just bitter from my past struggles to have a baby?  Maybe I’m overprotective of all the super women that I’m friends with that have used donor eggs, donor embryos, surrogates or adopted to become a Mommy?  Or maybe I want to shield my Wonder Woman friends who are still struggling to become a Mommy and are already feeling “less than”?  Or maybe I just don’t like the messages/lies that are being delivered to our little girls these days-  “a knight in shining armor will rescue you”, “you need to be smothered in pink”, “you need to be girly”, “you should want to have a baby”, and the worst lie of all “when you decide you are ready you will be able to have a baby”.  None of these define what a woman is, should be or needs to be.  Martha Stewart is crafty, Mary Duggar is not.



7 responses to “Why This Offends Me & Other Superheros

  1. I wish I could like this about 50 times…

  2. I saw that “I make milk, what is your superpower” sign while at L&D at the hospital getting checked to make sure baby is still okay after crazy early strong contractions earlier this

  3. …week and felt annoyed but was too distracted by worry to articulate why. You nailed it. Thank you for naming my outrage. Most days this kind of thing just rolls off me now but I remember when crap like this stung like mad.

  4. Sarah says:

    Great post. People have no idea or no care about who their gimmicky pics offend.

  5. I found that “so crafty I make people” poster to be SO offensive. For multiple reasons. The others you shared are also offensive. Why would people think that’s ok?

  6. Guy says:

    You had trouble with conception and resent people that didn’t? What a snarky cry for attention.

  7. m says:

    I agree that it is not a super power to make a baby. I’ve been pregnant 13 times and sometimes you just don’t wind up making a person and other times you wind up making a little person who only lives a little while after they are born. I got lucky and made one still living person and it was not pregnancy or child rearing that made me a mother it was reproducing and having offspring. I agree not superhero like at all because when it works it just works, you don’t have to do anything and they just grow and come out on their own. Never made enough milk to feed anyone either. Child rearing can make you a good mother possibly but simply reproducing is all it takes to become one. Open any dictionary or medical text book you just have to be a woman with offspring and that is hardly superhero like. Raising them can be a challenge! That is the hard part but alas you can raise kids that are your sister’s for instance and not be their mother so mother’s don’t always raise kids. If you died and your best friend raised your kid for you how horrible would it be if she wanted to call herself mommy just because she was raising your kid! There has to be room to have parental rights without the title so the kid does not get disconnected from their own family or feel their family is less important than the family of whoever is raising them. They should not have to give up referring to their parents as parents in exchange for food and shelter when someone else but their parents is raising them.

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