Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Lions and Tigers and…Stuff Coming Out Your Woo Haa

on February 28, 2014

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Warning- this post is not for the faint of heart

I hate underwear.  I’ve never been a drippy kinda girl so I’ve always been able to get away with going commando (aka sans undies).  When I must wear underwear it HAS TO BE a thong.  I know most of you can’t stand the fact of something being up your butt but the way I see it the undies are going to creep up there eventually so you might as well minimize the allotted amount of fabric.  And truthfully- if you have a good thong you’re not going to even notice it AND you avoid those nasty panty lines where the whole world can see your butt is hungry and eating up your undies.

All was well with me and my thongs.  That was until I started doing IVF.  Oh the vag horrors that come with suppositories.  You are pushing a Fun Dip like tablet up your woo haa three times a day.  The tablets are supposed to “melt” and your body is “supposed to” absorb the medicine.  Well guess what?  Your body really only absorbs some of the stuff and the rest has nowhere else to go but…yup, you guessed it- out the same way it came in.  And it’s not like just a little that sneaks out.  This shit comes in goops and gobs worse than a yeast infection.  No joke it looks like straight up cottage cheese.  And that’s the white tablets.  There is another kind that is blue and looks like a Smurf snotted in your underwear.  What’s a leaky girl to do?  Obviously panty liners are a must for any vag packin infertile.  Surely I can’t be expected to suffer infertility AND granny panties- so way Jose!  Luckily the woman who has been taking care of me my entire life aka My Mom once again came to my rescue.  She came over one day bearing gifts.  Not diamonds, not flowers, not chocolates.  She brought over something more valuable.  Something that is seriously the best invention since sliced bread.  She brought over panty liners for thongs!  I love, love, love my panty liners!  I can’t believe I just typed that.  What has become of my life?  But seriously- how adorable are these…

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They even have little wings- my vag angels.  They are thin and comfortable and quiet.  Yes, I said quiet.  I’ve tried panty liners in the past that sound like someone is playing with a garbage bag.  I don’t like letting the world know I’m wearing a diaper.

The need was short-lived.  That IVF cycle didn’t work.  I was so skeeved by what was falling out of my body that when the next cycle rolled around I literally begged to do the butt shots instead of the suppositories.  My new slogan became “Butt Shot Over Vag Snot” and I will chant that any day.

Lucky for me 2 cycles later and I got pregnant and stayed that way- yay!  Now I need the panty liners for another reason.  I can’t cough or sneeze without peeing a little.  And when I’m not coughing or sneezing I’m leaking other fun stuff.  I hear it only increases so I have lots of fun to look forward to in the thong department.

If you are a fellow thonger and are using vaginal suppositories, pregnant or just having your period I highly recommend these panty liners.  You can get  a coupon on their website http://www.carefreeliners.com/special-offers

Drip on!

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4 responses to “Lions and Tigers and…Stuff Coming Out Your Woo Haa

  1. Kitten says:

    Glad you found a good solution! I’m anti-thong, but I know plenty of women who love them. Personally, I’ve never had an issue with regular underwear creeping up. Really, I don’t think I’ve ever had a wedgie. But, yes, the panty lines sometimes suck.

  2. OMG I could NOT stop laughing at this post.. and yet it all is so true. I absolutely love your choice of words.. def made me giggle hee hee

  3. Kathy says:

    Warning!!! because I just went through this! I’ve had the urine leakage for about 15 weeks now….was wearing a panty liner every day, all day, changing them out frequently. Well apparently panty liners aren’t really meant for long term use… I developed quite the rash and subsequent yeast infection from lack of “air flow” down there with the liner constantly in my panties and the urine up against my skin. Not. Fun. At. All. Just a warning to let your woman bits breath naked whenever you can :))))

  4. Kristi says:

    I used to love thongs too until I got pregnant and now I live in cheap comfortable Walmart granny panties. I agree with Kathy that your vag. can’t breathe too well in panty liners which is why I opted for 100% cotton. My doctor also recommended it. My challenge was finding comfy granny panties. I went to Walmart yesterday to buy some more and spend 30 minutes finding my size. I brought two packages home and now they are going back. Good for you for being able to wear thongs but at 28 wks I had to give up my thongs for now.

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