Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Anonymous Soapbox #2

on January 2, 2014


It’s not a Drive-Thru

Can you imagine driving up to the muffled speaker and the Charlie Brown Teacher voice crackles through the speaker, “May I take your order?”

While shaking in my boots, I lean out my car window as far as I can so they can hear me say, “I would like to order 1 cell,” and that will be all.  Then they repeat my order and ask if that’s it?  Yep, that will be it.  I’m doing all the rest myself!

I wake up in the middle of the night wondering about my egg donor. I don’t know who she is. This process is “happening” and I don’t know her name. I will never meet her, or see her smile. How can I thank her? She is preparing and getting ready to donate a cell to me, so I can have a chance to have a baby. That’s huge, it’s the most precious gift, yet who are you and how can I ever thank you? The only thing I know is that when she looks out her window at night, she sees the same stars I see. God willing, maybe I will see her smile someday through a tiny child.

It’s not a drive-thru, but I’m placing an order without knowing who is preparing my order.  After I drive forward to the second window and they hand me my order, do I just pay them and drive off with such precious cargo? We are not given instruction books on how to handle these feelings, and my mind always seems to think of her at 2am, so for now I will look out my window at night and know she sees the same stars I see.



8 responses to “Anonymous Soapbox #2

  1. Kathy says:

    I miss YOUR posts!

  2. Kathy says:

    🙂 just want to let you know you’re missed! Love your writing!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Ditto!! Love to see your ultrasound pics 🙂

  4. hay610 says:

    To respond to Anonymous 2, I feel the same way! I think about and feel such gratitude for someone who I will never meet and whose name I will never know. Its pretty mind blowing. Thanks for sharing!

  5. In response to Anonymous 2. How beautiful, that brought a tear to my eye. As someone who is donating eggs it’s lovely to know how much they mean (of course we know but it’s nice to hear it, if that makes sense). It’s sad in a way that we never get to meet but I understand the complications that this would bring. Just know that egg donors do this because they want to give you the ultimate gift and they do it with love for you xxxxx

    • Anonymous says:

      Donor13- Thank you for your kind reply. I wish there were more of you in the world!
      I read your blog & enjoy following along.

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