Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Year-End Review(ish)

on January 1, 2014


Wow- I can’t believe 2013 is ending in a few hours.  What a whirlwind of a year its been.  It started off with kicking me in the ass when I said good-bye to any hopes of having a child with my eggs and said HELLOOOOO to donor eggs.  And now the year is ending by expanding my ass as I am currently 11 weeks, 3 days pregnant.  Pregnant?  That still sounds so weird to me and even harder to believe.  Oh yeah, and I had a miscarriage somewhere in there too.  So yeah, double WOW with what can happen in a year.

I have to apologize for being MIA lately.  Not only was I super busy with year-end work crap but I was having some pregnancy belief issues.  It seemed like every week I would go into my ultrasounds (still wearing waterproof mascara in case of the “God forbid”) and be totally shocked to see a heartbeat.  Yesterday I graduated from my RE and will now be strictly OB (1st appt is this Fri).  Technically I was supposed to graduate last Monday (at 10 weeks, 2 days) and should have taken my last PIO shot this Monday (at 11 weeks, 2 days).  But last week I had to go to the Somerset office because my regular Freehold office was closed for the holiday week.  So we drove an hour plus up North and later that day the RE on duty (not my regular Doogie Howser) called and said “your levels look great so we are going to start to ween you off the PIO.  Take a 1/2 cc tonight, Tues, Wed and Thurs, skip Fri, take it Sat, skip Sun and take the last one Mon.”  To which I replied, “and then go into Freehold Monday for blood work and ultrasound?” She said, “No honey- you’re all done with us.”  I had a minor panic attack and told her she couldn’t quit me cold turkey like that.  In my head I had planned on taking the PIO shots for 12 weeks AND I couldn’t have my last visit be in Somerset.  I had to go to Freehold one last time to pay homage to Doogie for knocking me up and say good-bye to all the other amazing people there.  She was a little shocked that I actually WANTED to continue but said I could go in on Monday if it made me feel better.  So we went in, everything looked perfect and the baby is starting to look like an actual baby now.  Doogie said I could stop the PIO but I convinced him to let me do it every other night for the rest of the week.  I’ve come this far so I don’t want to skimp now.  Dr. Google is not consistent with when the placenta fully takes over.  I’ve read anywhere from 10-14 weeks.  In my head I’m OK with taking the average and stopping at 12 weeks.  My last RE visit was bitter-sweet.  This has been so much a part of  my life for the last 2 years.  I’m used to going to give blood at least twice a week and having half the world view my crotch.  I’m not sure how to survive on the outside. 

In more recent news…

I guess I will need to start buying maternity clothes soon as I am not able to button any of my pants.  I bought a Bella Band but I hate it.  It feels like spanks or a girdle- not comfy.  This is my belly from 2 weeks ago.  It might not seem like much to the average person but its HUGE for me.  I’ve always had a super flat stomach that you could see my hip bones.  Guess I won’t be seeing any bones for a while lol.


I started reading this book


I really like it because it doesn’t sugar coat anything.  It’s totally raw and honest like my blog lol.

Monday afternoon I decided to take my embryo pic from transfer day and all of my ultrasound pics to Staples to have them laminated.  It sounded like a good idea to preserve them longer.  I specifically asked the guy if they could laminate ultrasound film or would it melt.  He said, “Sure, no problem.”  Well obviously it was a problem.  When I picked them up they were black and melted and totally destroyed. 

melted us

The idiot offered me coupons- really?  WTF?.  I totally lost my shit in the store and was crying and telling them, “I’ve spent over $30,000 to have a baby and you ruined it.”  Clearly that didn’t make any sense to them and the entire store was looking at me like I escaped from the loony bin.  Luckily I had taken pictures with my phone of all my US pics so I suppose I could print them if I needed to.  And I’m sure the RE has them on file.  But that wasn’t the point.  The originals have sentimental value.  And it isn’t every day you get to have an embryologist autographed picture of your baby when it’s just a circle of cells.

Check out my cute Christmas fur babies…

sasha  oz

Starr and her boyfriend were here from Colorado for 2 days.  I asked her to be our baby’s Godmother.  She had bought me an ultrasound picture frame with a cute little poem in it.  When she ran out for an errand Mike made this and we put it in the frame and then showed it to her. 


And then I got down on 1 knee and gave her a bracelet with star fish on it to memorialize the occasion. 

What else, what else?  Oh yeah, I started this blog (on this specific site) in May and between then and today its gotten 22,634 views- pretty cool.  And the oddest search engine query that brought someone to my site was “fluffy sock porn”- not really sure what that means but no doubt they busted a nut seeing my cool barking transfer socks.

I’ve met (mostly via the internet) some amazing women this past year.  I am so inspired by the strength some women have.  I am also completely humbled by the women that tell me I give them strength.  This infertility world is so fucked up yet its managed to build some beautiful friendships through my journey.  I could not have gotten to where I am now without the support of my family, friends, and readers but mostly my Zoo Group.  Those Zoo chicks are like no other and I’m honored to be in their circle. 

Well, I’m off to start my 2013 tax return medical spreadsheet.  I’ve collected all my receipts…


I’m scared to add those all up- my calculator will be getting a workout!

Happy New Year to everyone.  Be safe since it is “amature night”, don’t drink and drive and totally forget about condoms- everyone deserves to get knocked up in 2014!


4 responses to “Year-End Review(ish)

  1. hopobopo says:

    Enjoy following your blog. We are going with donor eggs this new year. And I’m scared to death.

    • my1111wish says:

      Don’t be scared. As soon as you have mourned the loss of your eggs you will find that you are more excited than with your eggs because there is much more chance of success- please keep me posted.

  2. slc611 says:

    That sucks about Staples messing up your pictures, i would have lost my shit too!

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