Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Anonymous Soapbox #1

on December 17, 2013


Below is the 1st submission for the anonymous soapbox.  I love this idea- keep them coming!

I think infertility is an emotionally exhausting game of Red Light Green Light. My gym teacher used to line our class up on one side of the gym and go stand at the opposite side. When he turned his back, that was our Green Light to move forward quietly. When he turned around fast and faced us, that was our Red Light and we had to freeze in place. If you were caught moving, you had to go back to the wall and start again. The winner made it across the gym without getting caught. It doesn’t matter where you’re at in the game, when given an inch you want a mile.

The summer of 2013 was full of many green lights, stirrup appointments, tummy shots, an own egg retrieval, an own egg transfer and even a positive pregnancy test. I was half way across the gym floor when I was caught moving during a red light and I had to go all the way back to square one. Heartbreak and hearing a doctor tell me that my own eggs were suffering from advanced maternal age sank in. We discussed options, then a moment of realization and redirection kicked-in, and I put on my game face.

I found out that there is more than one way to play the game Red Light, Green Light. My doctor handed me a life-line pass to use a donor egg from a young healthy generous woman. I’m hopeful again and feel like I will be bringing out the Big Guns for my next round of RL/GL.

To be continued in 2014…

Anonymous 🙂


5 responses to “Anonymous Soapbox #1

  1. my1111wish says:

    I love the red light, green light reference lol. My infertility journey seems more like a game of dodge ball and I’m always getting smashed in the face 🙂 I wish you THE BEST of luck- keep us posted!

  2. sam says:

    Dear Anonymous,
    I really enjoyed your post today, It seems I am also playing the same red light, green light game, only I’ve been playing for quite a few grades now 😦 I am using my life line pass in January….as always, I’m hoping this will be the last time I play!

    • Anonymous says:

      Sam, January is here! I’m hoping that your DE cycle is a big success.
      I will keep my fingers crossed for you. {{Hugs & Good Luck}}

      • Anonymous says:

        You are so sweet! Your message made me feel so happy…and we can always use some of those feelings! I am extremely lucky to be doing known donor and my cousin is flying for 9 hours from the UK on Thursday (She is a living angel!) Egg retrieval is planned for January 19th, but as you know there are many nerve wracking steps to get through before then. I am praying her 26 year old eggs are my golden ticket 😉

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