Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Horrible Things I Can’t Wait For!

on December 12, 2013

Pregnancy-Stretch-Marks

The following things I’m totally OK with as long as it brings me my baby:

– morning sickness (even if I’m barfing so hard I pop blood vessels in my eyes)

– painful boobs (even if they feel like they lost a fight with a cheese grater)

– swollen feet (even if I have to wear flip flops all the time even in the dead of winter)

– hemroids (even if it feels like bubble wrap in my butt hole)

– heartburn (burp) CHECK

– horrible, smelly, need to check for a shart, can’t stand to be around myself, crop dusting farts CHECK

– having to pee all the time (must invest in soft toilet paper) CHECK

– stretch marks (even if they leave me looking like I was attacked by a tiger)

– peeing myself when sneezing, laughing or coughing (come to think of it I did that before getting knocked up) CHECK

– water breaking in an “inconvenient” place- ie: Aisle 5 of Target (I swear I will wear Depends when I get close to my due date)

– episiotomy (even if it means having my taint cut from hole to hole)

– labor pains (even if my entire body feels like its one gigantic Charlie horse)

– shitting the delivery bed (yup- heard that’s one of those “not talked about” labor things)

More fun to come…

– diaper blow outs

– 3 am feedings

– middle of the night projectile vomiting

– teething

– a mini van

Advertisements

3 responses to “Horrible Things I Can’t Wait For!

  1. one of the best blog posts ever. I had tears in my eyes from laughing (one of those its funny because its so true things). Amazing and I wish you luck with all of the above.

  2. damelapin says:

    I so wish to have those things too

  3. I have to say.. I am having quite an emotional day (I’m currently 8dp3dt).. I’m not sure if it’s the progesterone or what for my mood. Anyways, this post made me LOL! Thanks for making my day 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: