Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Wax On, Wax Off

on October 18, 2013


The following must be read in your best Mr. Miyagi voice.  And if you never saw The Karate Kid and don’t know what I’m talking about then please stop following my blog lol.

“Ahhh Jenniferson…baby here (point to head), baby here (point to heart), baby not here (point to stomach).”

Yup this is true- no baby in the belly, no bun in the oven, not knocked up.  So what do you do when all else has failed?  You turn to an ancient Chinese secret.  No, I’m not talking about Calgon (watch this if you don’t get the reference )  I’m talking about acupuncture.  I mentioned previously that I was going to give it a try and Wed was my 1st .  The place was very Zen and soothing.  When I first walked into the building I wasn’t sure which office it was so I followed the smell of incense and sure enough found my way.  It was 1,000 degrees in there.  I think Zen people like to be hot.  Its kinda like those Indians that go into those hot tepees and roast themselves to sweat out the demons.  I’m not sure if that’s factual or just something I saw in a Quentin Tarantino movie.  The receptionist was a lovely gay man from some other country.  Well, I don’t know for sure if he was gay.  It’s not like he was having sex with a man when I walked in but he “acted” gay.  You know what I mean- exaggerated “S” (missssssss, yessssss) , flaring hands, etc.  And he was foreign, not sure where he was from but he was dark-skinned and had an accent.  We all know how I love my gays so I felt right at home.   I had to fill out several pages of questions like you would at your basic doctor’s office.  Next I was ushered by my new BFF Agador Spartacusssss to my “ssssuite” as he called it.  I was told to remove JUST my shoessss and sockssss and lay on the table.  Good thing he was specific because usually when I’m brought into an exam type room I automatically start undressing from the waist down- its a habit- the nature of the IVF Beast.  But the room was nothing like an exam room.  It was more like a spa room.  It was dimly lit with candles and a small lamp.  There was that massage music playing and the room smelled of incense.   The bed was super comfy and there was a fluffy pillow and some weird machine at my feet that was blowing hot air (note to self: put hot air weird blower machine on my Christmas wish list).  I looked to my left and there was a huge Asian character painted on the wall.  Character as in something was written not character like Mr. Magoo.  No wait, he was blind not Asian.  Forget it- you know what I mean.   It probably said Beef and Broccoli but I don’t care- it was a very Zen room.  The  acupuncturist, who is also the owner, was very sweet.  She went over everything with me and told me they have a Reiki Master there and if I was interested in having a free session with her.  Free?  Are you kidding me?  My motto is “if its free it’s for me!” plus I will try anything once so what the heck- bring on the Reiki.

I had heard the word Reiki before but never bothered to find out what it was.  So according to what the “Master” told me (plus the pamphlet I snagged) it’s some type of “spiritual healing to clear your body of blocked energy so it can heal itself“.  It’s supposed to restore the body, mind and spirit to its original state.  I’m not really sure what that translates into in normal person language.  I think its Jedi magic or something?  Basically she just placed her hands over me, sometimes touching and sometimes hovering.  I’m not sure if I really felt it or my brain tricked me into feeling it but wherever her hands were it felt super hot.  After she hovered for a while she would make a wiping motion and move to the next section of my body.  Hey, if Mr. Muyagi could heal Danielson’s leg by touching it maybe this could do something for me?  It would be nice to give infertility a nice “crane swoop” kick in the ass.

Next came Mrs. Acupuncture with a handful of needles. I tried closing my eyes but the suspense was killing me- I was dying to know what she was doing to me.  She put needles on either side of my ankles, knees and wrists.  I also got 4 in the lower tummy, 1 in my chest, one in my forehead and one on the top of my head.  The one in my forehead was weird because I could kinda see it when I looked up and I felt like a unicorn.  I only felt 2 of the needles go in and it was a quick prick- not very painful just aware that she pricked me.   The needles are super thin and short with little red caps.  So next I just had to lay there for 20 minutes.  I did close my eyes for this.  I didn’t sleep but I rested and it was glorious.  I didn’t feel the needles or any energy coursing through my veins.  I didn’t feel my uterine lining growing or my ovaries dancing around.  What I did feel was totally calm and at peace.  I was completely relaxed.  If I have to go there weekly and pay $85 for 30 minutes of peace and quiet it will be worth it.  If I tried to lay down for 30 minutes at my house I would hear dogs barking and humping each other, cats puking up hairballs, weasels pulling books off the shelves and Grand Theft Auto blasting on the TV.  And that would be on a quiet day.  That’s my usual Zen.

Does acupuncture for infertility work?  I really can’t tell you.  And if I do get pregnant with this transfer I won’t be able to say if it’s the acupuncture or the frozen verse fresh embryo, or the quality of the embryo itself or just amazing luck.  I do know that being relaxed and stress free does help your chances (or at least that’s what “they” tell me).  So with that being said I will go a few more times if not for anything but the chance to relax.  I will be going 2 more times before my transfer, on my way home from the transfer and then 2 times the week after the transfer.  When you add it all up I will have spent $575 on just relaxation but that’s a small price to pay in the event it winds up being the thing that gets me my baby.  And after all we’ve already spent on donor eggs and IVF $575 is chump change.  Plus any infertile will tell you that a chance to relax is priceless.


One response to “Wax On, Wax Off

  1. newtoivf says:

    Glad you enjoyed the acupuncture… love the idea of being a unicorn, I’m totally going to picture that next time I go! I also LOVE the idea of crane kicking IF! I’m off to catch a fly with chopsticks as practice!

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