Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Shoot Me- Now- Please!!!!!

on October 11, 2013

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I was texting with my favorite 3 legged friend Dan today.   I have more than one friend named Dan and ironically more than one 3 legged friend hence the clarification of who is my favorite.  I’ve known him for 26 years and he knows all about my barrenness including the donor part.  Back in my single days he even offered his “seed” if I should ever need or want it.  And just to not make it weird (lol) he would give it in a tupperware instead of having sex with me- how thoughtful of him.  I’m cracking up remembering that conversation.  So ever since then we have had a running joke about ice trays.  Don’t get me wrong- I never took him up on the offer but the ice trays are a symbol of our friendship- as fucked up and twisted as that might sound.   Enough of the back story- here’s the meat.  Dan just started dating some chick a few months ago but he’s talked about moving in with her.  I met her once and I’m still not sure how I feel about her.  There is something odd about her that I can’t put my finger on.  She’s young- like early 20’s young.  She has an 8 year old daughter and made it pretty clear she didn’t want anymore kids.  So clear that I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying “why don’t you just get rid of the one you have now?”  Dan never wanted kids.  He thinks they are “kinda ok” but would never want one.  Yup, you know where this is going.

Here’s a breakdown of our conversation…

Dan: What are you and Mike doing tonight?  I have an extra ticket to the show if you want to go.

Me: I’ve been feeling like shit so I’m going to get my ass shot and go to bed.

Dan: oooo kinky- how’s that going?

Me: not knocked up yet but hopefully soon.  When are you moving in with your new chick?  Don’t forget to pack the ice trays- maybe you can get her to throw a few of her eggs in there lol.

Dan: Soon- and just so you don’t hear it thru the grapevine first- having a baby 🙂

Me: what do you mean?

Dan: hello blondie- she’s pregnant!

{Cue tears and quivering lip}

Me:  seriously?  for real?  I thought you both didn’t wanted kids?  How far along is she?

Dan: 9 or 10 weeks we just found out when we saw you- it’s still hush hush so keep the trap shut- we’re excited now- hopefully I don’t ruin this kid

I changed the subject after that.

Dan is in a pretty well known band and travels all over the world- he’s never home and doesn’t make much money doing it.  I guess when they first signed with the record label they were young and stupid and didn’t broker a good deal.   He makes more money doing graphic design when he’s not on tour.  New girlfriend is a waitress and appears to be struggling to raise the child she already has.  They have only been dating for a few months and don’t want any kids and THEY get pregnant?  Meanwhile I’ve been trying for years and even with the involvement of Dr. Frankenstein it still hasn’t worked.  Where is the justice in this world?  Of course when I text Mike to tell him he just replies “congrats!” and ignores my rant about how it’s not fair.  He is entirely clueless (or perhaps unsympathetic) to infertiles who hate hearing about Oops pregnancies.  I’m rethinking my plans for the evening.  Not sure what I’m going to do yet but you can bet your PIO shot up ass that it will include loads of adult beverages.  FML

Every time I see this scene from Dumbo I get the same sick feeling in my stomach, my heart gets real sore and stops beating for a minute, my throat gets tight and I want to vomit.  I get the same feeling when I hear of an oops…

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3 responses to “Shoot Me- Now- Please!!!!!

  1. Kass says:

    Ok, this is going to be a rough comment, fair warning.

    I’m totally with you on this – this is not fucking fair, and we should never have to witness this, especially with regards to our friends. Of course I’ll be happy for them (through my grinding teeth), if they’re happy, but I absolutely don’t want to know this.

    One of my male friends told me and my hubby a few months ago that his gf is pregnant. Of course we didn’t even know he had a new girlfriend, as he just broke up with his “ideal” gf after she moved to Europe “probably” for ever. So yep, she’s pregnant and she got pregnant on the third or fourth date (!). He never wanted kids, he’s a happy-go-lucky kind-a-dude, no responsibilities, weed, parties, that sort-a-thing. And altogether a fantastic guy.

    So then we finally meet the gf when she’s already 5 months preggo, looking like she’s about to deliver. (like it wasn’t enough that I don’t do well meeting pregnant women). And all she talks about is how now quickly have to buy a house and a new car, all becasue of the baby. And unlike you, there’s a lot of things that I clearly see are wrong about her and the whole picture. Especially that my friend looks all stressed out and doesn’t even sound like himself.
    So to cut this long ass comment short – the good guys always get fucked up by the looney chicks, who are really good at hunting them.

    And back to the topic – it’s fucking unfair! Says an infertile after her first failed IUI.

    Lots of hugs, girl. Take care and remember all those shots are really really worth all the crap you’re going through right now. 🙂

    Kass

  2. dipitie says:

    That’s EXACTLY how it goes. If I had a dollar for every person that didn’t want kids when I started TTC but now has a kid, or a toddler, or a fucking child, I could probably afford a DEIVF. It’s so unfair and it’s infuriating. ((HUGS))

  3. newtoivf says:

    This is the most ridiculously unfair thing ever. I f-ing hate fertiles!

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