Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Heavy Hearted

on August 27, 2013

broken

My girlfriend went in for her 7 week ultrasound today and instead of seeing a heartbeat her heart was broken.  When I read the message I got sick to my stomach.  I wanted to vomit.  I started to cry.  I felt like this was happening to me.  That’s the bond you build with your fellow infertiles.    

I recently had another friend who lost the heartbeat at 8 1/2 weeks.   This is just not fair!  When do we get a break?  Is it not enough for us to give up our genetic links.  Have we not suffered enough failures?  I know how hard it was to breath when I had my chemical- I measly few days of being pregnant.  I can’t even begin to imagine what my dear friends are going through.  My heart aches for them.   I feel like this is such a sick, twisted joke.  If it’s not going to be your baby let it happen early.  Don’t let the happiness of being pregnant drag out only to have it so unexpectedly snatched from you.   I cry for them and the potential of it being me one day.  I’m very angry right now. 

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5 responses to “Heavy Hearted

  1. Carito says:

    I’ve been following your blog and it’s the first time I comment. I feel for your friends. It’s too damn cruel! I’m a DE patient @Shady Grove and I’m on my 2ww. I pray for a yes or no result. Can’t deal with more heartache.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I’m so sorry for your friends 😦 As someone with RPL, I understand how it feels. Give them big hugs from us all xx

  3. Unfortunately, even after you get to all the normal “safe” checkpoints of pregnancy, you never feel safe. IF steals all hope that everything could possibly go right. I worry more everyday than the day before. I broke down the other night telling my husband that I’m afraid. I don’t want to get this far and have something bad happen. 😦 I hate to think that way and especially hate to say it. I just don’t think the fear ever ends.

  4. GatorGirl says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. My good friend just miscarried at 7 weeks as well. It is so hard to see friends experience such pain.

  5. Dipitie says:

    Miscarriage blows. You spend so much energy in just getting pregnant, and then you decide to be hopeful, only to have your hope shattered and trampled. (((HUGS))) to your friends

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