Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Twat Terror

on August 19, 2013

weedwhacker

I remember a time when I gave lots of attention to the beauty of my vagina.  I would get brazilian waxes every 4 weeks like clockwork.   But when you are in a IVF cycle and can’t have sex you kinda neglect your lady bits- at least I do.  I figure why bother if I can’t use it.  Why waste the time and money and pain to have a pretty pussy if it’s a no play zone?  In my mind getting a brazilian when you can’t have sex equates to drinking non alcoholic beer or decaf coffee- what’s the point?

Its been a while since we did the horizontal tango.  At first my reason was the birth control pill and the spotting it caused.  Next it was Lupron and the bloating and the headaches and the overall lack of sexual desire.   And then it was we couldn’t have sex right before the retrieval because all of M’s spermies needed to be available.  Then we couldn’t have sex before the transfer because I didn’t want anything inside me confusing the embryo.    Then you can’t have sex after the transfer until the RE gives you approval (usually not until after the 1st ultrasound).  And then I had my chemical pregnancy and got my period, which is still happening.  So what does all this mean for my vagina?  I now have straight up 70’s bush.  I am horrified by the Sasquatch I’ve become.  You know when you neglect the weeds in your garden and it gets so bad that you feel you can’t even tackle such a mess that its best to just torch the whole thing and let it burn.  Yup- that’s the point I’m at with my vag.  I know I’m going to have to get my hands on M’s beard trimmer and go to town.  It’s probably going to take an hour to get it to the point where I’m brazilian ready.  Oh good Lord what was I thinking?  If you don’t hear from me in a few days send a rescue team!

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3 responses to “Twat Terror

  1. Margy says:

    You. Crack. Me. Up!!

  2. You never lose your sense of humor!! This is hilarious. I was just telling my hubs tonight, I’m considering letting it go…. I should spare the drs having to see that awkward phase tho. What to do?

  3. Sara says:

    Hahaha, oh my gosh, I just found your blog and am so glad I did. This post literally had me rolling 🙂 Thanks for lightening up my day!

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