Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Inside The Spank Tank

on July 24, 2013

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First of all, before I even get into talking about the spank tank- what guy gets a tramp stamp of a monkey whacking off?  WTF is wrong with people???????

Since there is a “No Girls Allowed” policy in most masturbatoriums I knew you would all be dying to see what goes on in there.  Not that you’re a peeping tom but I meant see what it looks like from the inside.

The room– clearly you can see it needs a HGTV style make over.  I would say Queer Eye for the Straight Guy but that seems a little too pornographic for my liking.  Of course it’s all tile for an easy clean up.  Don’t laugh, my friend’s husband tripped in one and spilled the sauce.  He was too embarrassed to tell the nurse so he was literally scooping it from the floor to the cup lmao.  If you knew this guy it would be even funnier.  He reminds me of a taller more awkward version of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory.  Although he married a Penny instead of an Amy Fuller Fowler.

room

The material– looks pretty lame to me.  I feel compelled to donate some new porn.  Would that be tax deductible?

dvd

The cup– does that remote have a wire on it so nobody can steal it?  Why is there a toilet in there?  Who would take a shit in there?

cup

The decor– M was not digging this painting.  He text me “this actually kinda made it difficult to concentrate…why is there weird art on the wall of the spank room?”  It does seem pretty random.  Maybe some geeks get off on that shit- who knows.  If so they better not go to the Louvre or the Mona Lisa will be getting a pearl necklace. 

artwork

So let’s give M a round of applause for making it out of the tank alive.  It must not be easy to orgasm on command.  I know I could never do it.  If I could I’d probably have sex more often lol.

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7 responses to “Inside The Spank Tank

  1. IVFfervescent gal says:

    This. Is. Hilarious.

  2. jinxgirl says:

    This has just properly cheered me up a bit x

  3. hope says:

    thanks for the sneak peek!

  4. Lisa says:

    Love this!! M gets major props for sending you these pics!!!

  5. Yes says:

    What??? Women aren’t allowed in the spank tank? Is this true at all clinics? My DH was counting on me as his lovely assistant…

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