Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Red Alert, Red Alert, Red Alert

on July 22, 2013


I woke up this morning with an earache and thick, sore throat- yup, fuck my life!  I went to my niece’s bday party yesterday and a bunch of the kids and 1 adult were sick.  Of course my head is spinning with concerns for my transfer.  Is a cold going to effect the embryo?  I’m sure all will be fine but I’ll stress anyway.

I didn’t sleep well.  Every anxiety ridden hamster in my head is spinning on a wheel.  How many follicles will Buttercup produce?  How many eggs will fertilize?  How many embryos will make it to blast?  Who?  What?  Where?  When?  Why?  How?  How much?  Whodunit?  How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Remember the neighbor dog who attacked my dog (click here if you need a reminder ) Well ever since that day I’ve been afraid of that dog.  I’m a huge animal lover so to say that I’m afraid of an animal really means a lot.  Every time I see that beast I picture my fur baby with her leg being ripped open.  Of course when I see that dog it’s usually when I have my dogs with me and satan spawn beast dog goes crazy barking and growling and biting at the chain link fence.  I’ve had breakdowns before over this so M firmly spoke with the neighbor.  They now know my dog walk schedule and try not to have their dogs out at the same time.   Guess what happened this morning?  Yup, I step out the back door with dumb and dumber and the taz manian devil starts his fury.  I let the dogs pee on the grass (shhh don’t tell M) and took them back inside where I proceeded to start shaking and hysterically crying.  The nuclear meltdown has begun- run for cover!  Between not feeling well, all the stress and then Cujo I had reached my limit.  I ran up to M (who was sleeping) and I was sobbing.  Not crying but sobbing like little kids do when they can’t catch their breath.  He got out of bed, put on his shining armour, comforted me and then walked the dogs.  I feel like a jerk.  I rarely cry and now this has all taken its toll.  I guess I need to drink some wine to get these hamsters drunk and under control.  Calgon- take me away!!!


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