Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Tampon Trauma

on July 3, 2013

tampon1

Infertiles in their “trying to conceive” stage tend to put their life on hold in fear that making any plans will interfere with their hypothetical pregnancy.  It’s a superstition- our version of a black cat crossing in front of us.  We find ourselves hemming and hawing whether or not to RSVP to a wedding because “if this cycle is successful I will be due around the time of the wedding”.  You also hesitate to plan a vacation as it may conflict with a retrieval or transfer or you’ll stress how to get your needles and drugs past TSA.  You never know when a cycle will pop up.  You feel like you can’t plan your life because if a cycle happens to conflict with it we feel its taboo to skip a cycle.  Medically you can do it but mentally you feel like you will be waving a white flag and telling infertility its won the battle.  I try not to fall into the “I have to put the rest of my life on hold” trap.  I did however feel a little bit of anxiety the other day when we started planning our National Conference for work.  We have it every other year in Disney.  This year it will be in early April and “if this cycle works” it would be around my due date.  I’m the 2nd in command for the conference but obviously cannot act like I might not be there.  I’ll wait to throw that Wile E. Coyote Acme anvil on the CEO’s head IF in fact this cycle does work.

As you know I had been on active only birth control pills for 3 months.  I wasn’t supposed to get a period yet I had cramps the whole time and I tended to spot- a lot!  I wonder how many spots you must have to be considered a period?  Sunday was my last pill and my RE warned me that I might get a period for a few days.  Well, I did get it yesterday and it was back with a vengeance.  I feel like it was stored inside me for 3 months and now the flood gates have opened.  I went to Target to buy tampons and had a near melt down in the personal hygiene aisle.  Tampons are cheapest when you buy in bulk.  Being the frugal person that I am bulk was the way my wallet wanted me to go.  However my infertility superstition kicked in and I feared I would jinx myself if I bought the year supply of tampons.  “If this cycle works we won’t be needing tampons for almost a year” said the infertile devil on my left shoulder.  “But tampons don’t have and expiration date” said the rational angel on my right shoulder.  “Don’t jinx us” said the devil.  “Be practical” said the angel.  So what did I do?  I did what any irrational, superstitious infertile would do.  I bought the bulk pack of “light days” and I’ll just change them every 15 minutes.  The devil and the angel shook hands and I went to buy a box of tissues to dry my tears- bulk pack of course 🙂

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3 responses to “Tampon Trauma

  1. Georgia Peach :) says:

    LOL….I always think about the same things…my Mom wants to plan a vacation to Europe with me for my 40th birthday ( which is in November) and I am already thinking…well, and IF I have started the whole process already..how would this work? Not only that…but in my mind..I only want to go back to Brazil to visit my family/friends to have a baby shower there LOL I know, it sounds silly and weird, but I don’t see myself going back there until I can have this 🙂

  2. I was in BJs Wholesale Club yesterday and thought about buying the big box of tampons but I never can…what if I get pregnant? haha i’m glad i’m not the only one. Thanks for sharing.

  3. lydiaseeks says:

    Oh yes, I do this too! I order mine on Amazon because my local drugstore doesn’t have them and every time I do I get like 3 boxes and I hate it. I keep thinking “well, I’ll just tuck these away for awhile” but um, no. I am using them. Siiigh.

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