Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Mtv True Life- I’m a Surrogate

on May 25, 2013

Originally posted May 1, 2013 – 

I decided to take a break from watching my 5,000 DVR’d episodes of Baby Story and see what other interesting shows the idiot box has to offer.  I was already caught up on LA Shrinks, Bad Girls Club, Mob Wives, Jerseylicious and all the other intellectually stimulating and educational reality shows so I was forced to turn to On Demand.  And just so you know, all this mindless tv watching is so that I won’t play Candy Crush which I’m unhealthily addicted to.  I supposed I could blog more- but that’s another addiction.  Or read a book, but it would be about infertility- another addiction.  Or better yet I could work out- blasphemy!

Mtv has a documentary series called True Life.  Each show is about a different topic and they follow a couple of people who do whatever the topics is: I’m a drug addict, I’m obsessed with porn, I’m homeless, etc.  One of the episodes that caught my eye was I’m a Surrogate.  Wow- I can’t believe they are doing this on Mtv.  I’m glad to see that they are exposing the younger generation to infertility- kudos Mtv.  WAIT- Insert screeching sound of tires breaking for a squirrel.  After watching the episode I can only give half kudos to Mtv and half WTF were you thinking.  Here is why…

The episode followed 2 women that wanted to be surrogates.  One CA woman was married with 3 kids.  She seemed educated and financially stable- at least she appeared that way by the way she dressed and spoke.  She acted very mature, seemed to be a great mother to her own beautiful kids and appeared to be in a supportive marriage.  She didn’t want to have any more children of her own but loved being pregnant and wanted to give the gift of parenthood to another couple from the mid-west.  She worked with a surrogacy agency and implanted 2 embryos from the couple.  Both took and she was pregnant with 1 girl and 1 boy.  She received $25,000 for being carrying and delivering the babies and would maintain a close relationship with the new parents and the twins. The intended mother flew in for a lot of the ultrasounds and was even there for the appointments to confirm twins and find out the sexes of the babies.  Both woman seemed to be bonded and it was a beautiful thing.  The surrogate seemed truly honored to be able to do this for the couple who had tried for several years to get pregnant on their own.  I was moved to tears.

Surrogate #2 could not have been any more opposite than the 1st one.  She was a younger woman with 2 children of her own from a previous marriage.    She was extremely overweight and slovenly.  She lives in Detroit with her current husband who was less than supportive of her being a surrogate.  They lived in a dirty, broken down house and their lives seemed to mimic what the house looked like.  She found the intended parents online- I didn’t catch how- but I think it was in some sort of surrogate or infertility chat room.  They decided not to go through an agency but she would receive $15,000 to have a baby for the other couple.  She had never met the couple, just chatted with them online.  The woman and her husband went to meet the other couple while she was ovulating and, provided that they liked each other, they would “get started” that night.  The intended parents were just as slovenly as the other couple.  Come on people- you are on tv- at least brush your hair and wear something nice!  So lucky for them they got along with each other or the long train ride would have been a bust lol.  This is where it totally turned me off and why Mtv got the big WTF from me.  They were doing the insemination- AT HOME!!!!!!!   In another pigsty house with laundry and dirty dishes everywhere.  The guy would put his baby batter in a cup and his wife would bring it to the potential surrogate with a syringe.  She did the insemination herself laying in what I’m sure was a nasty bed bug ridden bed.  She referred to herself as a twinkie.  What she should have said was “I need to lay off the twinkies”.  The twinkie and her husband stayed with this couple for 10 days- doing the insemination every day.  2 weeks later she took a pregnancy test and it was negative- shocker!  She got all crazy that it didn’t work and went to a doctor for a check up.  She didn’t go to a fertility doctor or even a gynocologist.  Just a plain ole general practitioner.  She was going to continue trying but as fate would have it she wound up getting into a fight with the other couple and that ended their relationship.  She then decided surrogacy wasn’t for her.  Thank god for small favors.  I feel bad for the other couple because I can relate to wanting a child.   The show didn’t get into anything about them or their situation so I’m not sure what else they have or have not tried.  I do know that they are cruelly fortunate to not have had it work with this woman- there is no way it could have turned out well in the long run.

So there you have it- the same situation, with 2 totally different approaches and 2 completely different outcomes.  What I found most disturbing is that Mtv went to such different extremes with the process.  I like that they are exposing today’s youth to the potential of infertility and the need and option of surrogacy (both as the giver and the receiver) but an in home insemination with strangers and a turkey baster- come on!  Don’t give the general public even the slightest opportunity to think that’s what most infertile people do.  We are judged enough.  Show people that infertility can be dealt with in a clean, safe, clinical way and not some back woods, skid row, back alley abortion manner.  It reeked of potential STD.  Or worse- these couples didn’t know each other- they met in a chat room.  One of them could have wound up as a drugged sex slave or worse in someone’s freezer.  I know that sounds extreme but that’s how extreme the 2 stories were.  Ugh Mtv- first you ruin the state of New Jersey by giving us the show Jersey Shore and now you taint surrogacy- shame on you!


One response to “Mtv True Life- I’m a Surrogate

  1. a.b. says:

    That nasty couple was my ex and the girl he cheated on me with , he has many mental issues where he had needed in the past had to be put in a hospital for threating to hurt a co worker. He is a liar and criminal. The girl Rhonda is actually wearing a shirt that i left at chris’s apartment we shared from 2008. Hey at least now i can say my shirt has been on mtv.

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