Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

D is for Donor

on May 25, 2013

Originally posted Mar 5, 2013 – 

D is the 4th letter in the alphabet so its only appropriate that it should stand for our next step in IVF- DONOR.

M and I sat on the couch last night discussing what our next step should be.  We both agreed that a donor is our only real option.  We can’t waste any more retrievals or spare any more heartache on the chance that we might get 1 egg of mine.  The best chance of us having a family is to leave my eggs out of it.  It is very important to me that we try our hardest for at least M to have a biological child.  He said “biological” is not as important to him as it is to experience pregnancy with me and me being able to carry a child.  With all the crap that’s been thrown at us I am truly blessed to have M in my life.  His love and support are what keep me going on even the hardest days.  Donor embryos are significantly cheaper than donor eggs but that leaves M no chance of a biological child.  We decided on eggs and will figure out the finances later on.  We also agreed that we should start the process ASAP.  

Ever since donor eggs were mentioned to us at our first IVF appointment I’ve been researching it.  Of course I’m all ready to make an appointment. Our current clinic has a 10-12 month waiting list for donor eggs.  No way Jose!  When I found that out I started checking other clinics.  We are both going to miss our nurse and our doctor.  They have been amazing these past 9 months.  WOW- its crazy to type that.  If we had gotten pregnant when we started this process I would be ready to give birth now.  So as much as we are going to miss them we don’t have the luxury of time on our hands. 

We have an appt. with IVF NJ in their Somerset office for this Monday at 10:30 am.  The appointment will take approximately 4 hours because we will meet with the whole donor team which includes doctors, donor match coordinator, financial advisors and psychologist.  I’m nervous and excited for our next step.  At least we now have another possibility to look forward to.


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