Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

And We Shall Call Her Buttercup!

on May 25, 2013

Originally posted May 4, 2013 – 

I’m 98% sure that we have found our donor!  Of course as a true Gemini I need to mull over this for a little longer.  I feel that she is the one but I am the WORST when it comes to making decisions.  Heck- it took me months to decide which cell phone case to get.  And when it comes to picking a color to paint a room- forget it- major life decision.  I act as if it could never be changed.  I usually come up with a color and then M has to decide the specific shade.  I will say “this room should be tan-ish or green-ish” but that’s as far as I’m willing to commit.  So needless to say, making a decision about the woman who will give us her eggs and God willing will lead to a baby- ugh I can’t even describe the stress this is causing me!  My mind is riddled with the self induced “what ifs”.  What if we pick her and it doesn’t work out (out of our control).  What if we pick her and then someone else better comes along (we would never know).  What if even though we really, really like her we are just subconsciously liking her because we want this as quickly as possible (slim chance).  What if, what if, what if????????  Marsha!  Marsha!  Marsha! (Brady Bunch reference)  I know this is all normal because this is probably the biggest decision we will ever make.  Luckily M is not a “what if” kind of person- he is sure- but he is sensitive enough to my insanity to let me go through the process in my head and be supportive.  And then when all works out fine he says “see I told you so”.  His mom told me “pray on it” but I feel I’ve been so far removed from my religion through all this that I may have forgotten how to pray.  I’ve been trying but not sure if I’m doing it right- if there is even such a thing.

When we were reading the profile we were both amazed how close she was to everything we asked for.  We kept saying things like “wow”, “that’s great”, “OMG”.  Even the things we thought we were being picky about are a perfect match.  There was just one thing in her family’s medical history that we (meaning me the Gemini) need to do some research on but other than that she is great.  We got a baby and adult picture of her.  She is cute- could possibily pass as my cousin.  She is a 2 time proven donor and the couples all have frosties.  She cycled a 3rd time but it was recently so the pregnancy results are not back yet.  Before we looked at the pictures I asked M “if you were online dating and read her profile would you be interested to meet her?”  Of course I strategically asked this before he saw the picture (Gemini mind at work).  He said “absolutely!”

Both my nurse and our matching coordinator are totally excited about her for us.  They both said they had her in mind for us and was hoping she would want to do it again but needed to confirm.  They both raved about how amazing she is.  The coordinator said when she reached out to her for us her response was “the loveliest and most charming response. I was in tears for the whole night.  If spirit is genetic you will have a generous and open child.”  WOW- how heart warming is that!

So now I’m obsessed with looking at her pictures.  I look at her baby picture and try to morph in my mind what M’s spermal influence will look like combined with her.  I even propped my cell phone on my desk like it was a framed picture and imagined I was looking at my baby.  Hey, I never claimed to NOT be a nut case.

As we are already welcoming this donor into our hearts we both agreed we felt weird calling her “the donor” so we wanted to pick a fun name for her.  In her profile she said her favorite movie is The Princess Bride (another score!)  We decided we would give her the name of the princess in the movie- we shall now call her Buttercup!  For those of you who have not seen this movie I highly recommend it- its an 80′s classic.

Have fun storming the castle!


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