Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Will This Be Our Golden Ticket?

on May 24, 2013

Originally posted Jan 30, 2013 – 

I’m home with my box from Mandell’s.  This is like a ritual for me.  The box needs to just sit there for a while.  I can never just rip it open and study its contents.  I need to stare at it, wonder what’s inside.  Is it Pandora’s Box filled with all that’s evil in the world.  Or is it a Wonka Bar holding the Golden Ticket?

This box is bigger than usual.  It contains the shots I will need to stop me from ovulating, and the ones that will make my follicles grow, the trigger shots that will make me ovulate for my retrieval, the drugs that I will need to take before my transfer and then the progesterone I will need if, God willing, we make it to the transfer and prepare for our 2 week wait.  The 2 weeks that you have to sit and sweat and stress to find out if you’re pregnant.  Oh the box- filled with so many promises and also the possibility of such heart break.

Drum roll please, drrrrrrrrrrr……….

There is it!  The contents of my soul- all laid out on our kitchen counter.  During “cycle time” its no longer a kitchen counter.  It becomes M’s mad scientist lab.  The place where he gets to mix all those powders and liquids and draw some dreams into a little syringe and shoot them into my tummy. 

As I pour the last glass of wine I will be having for a very long time I say “CHEERS!” to the 3rd time being a charm!


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