Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

Here’s One I Wasn’t Expecting- Ugh!

on May 24, 2013

Originally posted Feb 8, 2013 – 


I received a call from my gynecologist yesterday.  My pap smear results came back “abnormal”.  I’m scheduled for a colposcopy and biopsy on Feb 18th.  I’ve struggled with HPV since I was a teenager so its not abnormal for my pap results to be abnormal but its yet another road block in our journey.  Here’s the kicker- I can continue with my cycle but they will not do a transfer until my results are back and they are OK.

I’m supposed to get my period any day now.  I’ve been praying for it to come so we can start the shots.  Now I’m praying for it to not come until after Feb 18th.  If I get it right away we can proceed but then that puts me in a dangerous time frame with whether or not the biopsy results will be back.  I can’t have the colposcopy while I have my period so if it comes too close to the 18th then the colposcopy will need to be rescheduled.  Regardless of when I get my period I’m not even sure if the results will be back before the retrieval anyway.  They usually take 2-3 weeks.  The nurse said we can do the retrieval and if the results don’t come back before the transfer then we could freeze anything we had a do a frozen transfer instead of a fresh transfer like we have planned.  I haven’t discussed this with M yet but I think if we don’t have the results before the retrieval then I’m cancelling the cycle and not doing a retrieval.  Insurance will only pay for 4 retrievals.  I’ve already wasted 1 that resulted in empty follicles.  I’m not risking wasting another unless we are positive we can do the transfer right away.   I’m not confident that our embryo would survive a thaw.   And with all this focus on timing I haven’t even been able to consider why the pap would be abnormal- ugh!!!!!

I was so frustrated yesterday.  I text M to tell him what was going on.  He replied, “I know but go easy- we’ll get through all of this shit and will be stronger for it!”  To which I replied, “We finally get a cycle after having to skip 2 and we get a wrench thrown in- how many more signs should we ignore?”  He says, “I don’t live by signs baby- signs are subjective…you can look at it as a test too see how bad we want it and what we’ll endure to get it.”  I understand where he’s going with this but at this point the only sign I want to see is…


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