Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

“Daddy I want an oompa loompa!”

on May 24, 2013

Originally posted Jan 24, 2013 – 

“Daddy I want an oompa loompa” (typed in my best British accent). 

Sometimes I start to lose faith, hope and sanity and feel like it might just be easier to get an oompa loompa than a baby.  Or maybe I could start a unicorn petting zoo, or swim with mermaids or stumble upon a Smurf in my garden? 

When we first started this journey we signed up for a multi-cycle banking program for genetic testing and freezing.  The theory was to do 3 cycles of IVF and save a bunch of the embryos for baby #2 or possibly #3.  Well, we can’t even get baby #1 so there goes that fantasy.  We will be lucky if we can get even 1 embryo never mind a whole nest of them.  So after weighing all our options we have decided to focus on baby #1 and worry about a 2nd child another time.  We pulled out of the “banking” program and are switching into a single cycle program.  If we are very, very, very lucky this next cycle will work for us and we will both have a biological child and then use a donor egg for baby #2.  If this doesn’t work then I forfeit ever having a biological child and we go straight to donor egg.  The whole thing is like a pick your own adventure book.  Remember those books- you walk and see a door- to open the door go to page 34, to keep going and not open the door go to page 53.  Every thought, every option brings you on a different path that is filled with even more possibilities.  Sometimes the options have you spinning in circles.  For example (and I’m talking example as in if it actually worked for us): using my egg and his sperm gives us both a biological child.  But when we come to baby #2 using a donor egg and his sperm then he has 2 biological children and I have 1 and they would biologically only be 1/2 siblings.  And God only knows what the options would be for baby #3.  By that point we will probably be able to bid for a baby on Ebay.  Our family tree is going to look like something from Jerry Springer.  And that’s OK with us but then you have to think about the kids and how will they feel?  Do we tell them?  Do we tell anyone?   Ugh- this is so a topic for another time- my head is hurting already.


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