Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

A Symbol of Support

on May 24, 2013

Originally posted Feb 4, 2013 – 

When my friend Starr (name as been changed to protect her identity lol) first heard that we were having trouble getting pregnant she was very supportive.  When she found out we were doing IVF she was even more supportive.  But I didn’t truly realize how deep that support and friendship ran until I told her we were considering using donor eggs.  Her first reaction- take mine! Starr is 39 years old like me so chances are her eggs would be denied by my doctor.  She has never had children of her own, which makes the offer even more special.  Of course we would never take her up on the offer because, for several reasons, we want an anonymous donor.  But the offer was amazing- so kind and generous.  And its not like she didn’t know what she was getting herself into by offering because both of her sisters have gone through IVF. 

Starr moved to Colorado a few years ago so I never get to see her.  A few weeks ago she came to NJ to spend a long weekend with me.  One night, per her suggestion, we watched The Odd Life of Timothy Green (see previous blog for my reaction to the movie).   For those who haven’t seen it, the boy has leaves growing on his legs (long story- see the movie).   He gives his leaves to certain people for certain reasons (again- see the movie).   Friday night I got home and there was a present in my mailbox from Starr.  It was an ornament of a leaf from Aspen that is dipping in silver.  She told me that since I’m not using her eggs she will give me a leaf like in the movie and maybe it will help me.  Of course I burst into tears.  What an incredible symbol of friendship and support.  Its friends like Starr that give me the strength to carry on with this journey.  She is always there to listen to my struggles and totally cheers me on.  There are only a few people like this in my life right now but I’m thankful for each and every one of them.   Like they say in the IVF world when it comes to eggs its quality over quantity- the same can be applied to friends.

We started our cycle last night.  Usually I have my Woobie Will with me to squeeze while M injects the venom.  Last night I decided to hold the leaf instead.  Maybe it will bring us the luck we need. 


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