Starting Our Family

The reality of infertility, IVF and donor eggs

That’s So Carrie Bradshaw of Me

on May 23, 2013

Originally posted Oct 24, 2012 – 

If you don’t already know I am obsessed with the forums on

At this point, my hours logged on that site have well surpassed Facebook- yikes! 

I always like to reply a quick “welcome” to new people because being new to the forum is almost as scary as being new to infertility.  Someone suggested I create a new “welcome” thread.  I feel like Carrie Bradshaw!  Maybe I could make a living doing this one day.  Have I found my calling? 

Here is my Za Za Zu!…

If you are new read this 1st-

You’ve come to the right place- you will see there are so many people here that are going thru the same things as you. We’re all in the same boat so grab a paddle!

Finding out you will not have a baby “naturally” is almost like losing a family member. The pain and shock is so overwhelming that you really do need to take the time and go thru the same steps you would as dealing with a death- Denial (this isn’t happening to me!), Anger (why is this happening to me?), Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…), Depression (I don’t care anymore), Acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes). Allow yourself to go thru all of them.

As for the shots- the anxiety of them is far worse than the actual shot- I promise. If you have such fears I would recommend having your significant other or someone do them for you- it will make it easier. Get yourself a fluffy stuffed animal and bury your face in it- it will be over before you know it. I was freaking out over them until I watched the Keeping Up With the Kardashians episode where Kim got a shot to start the process of freezing her eggs. Once I saw that I was like “if she could do it so could I”. Plus its not like you’re “sick” and this isn’t something you want to do. If you want a baby that bad you will be amazed (and impressed) by what you are capable of.

You will learn so much during this journey not only about fertility but also about yourself and your significant other- embrace that- its all part of the process! You might want to print out a copy of the Acronyms or you will have no clue what everyone is talking about. Soon enough you will have the lingo down pat and the fertility ebonics will be your second language

Educate yourself and be your own advocate but be smart about it. There are a lot of great suggestions here but run them by your doctor 1st. Some supplements/doses/etc may actually be counter-productive or harmful depending on your specific issues. Try not to listen to all the horror stories because it will drive you insane and you need to stay positive. Remember for every horror story there is a success story!

Be kind- you will not always agree with what people on here have to say. Remember- majority of us are on injectables and not always in the right frame of mind. We all have the right to vent- even when it doesn’t make sense. You can offer your own opinion but don’t be mean. We’re all on the same road to parenthood but have different road blocks, paths, short cuts or means of getting there- and of course the men never stop to ask for directions. I’m kidding- there are a ton of great guys on here and its nice to see them involved.

It will be helpful if you create a signature and list a brief history and protocol if possible so people don’t have to ask when you posted something.

You will find yourself making friends with people you will most likely never meet. You will pray for them, laugh with them, congratulate them and sometimes even cry for them. And honestly you may at some point even be jealous of them. Its all part of “forum life”.

Spread the word! We all need to support each other! Best wishes to each and every one of us!!!!!!


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